Fake it `till you make it...

...was where I left off with desire vs motivation. Essentially, I just had to get up and start somewhere. While I can't say the juice was worth the squeeze, it does feel nice to have theses shelves cleaned and organized. The next undertaking will be the desk in my bedroom. It is so bad, there will not be pictures of the before and after.

All of this stuff...

...and lets not forget this stuff 

came from here.
Now all nice and neat and put away.

I don't know why or how and
 I can't really understand it.

Look there are even extra shelves!

Now what I know is, if we just kept it nice and neat I wouldn't need to be motivated to do anything about it. Why and how I struggle to keep it that way I don't know, but I think it is probably a reflection of something else all together.

Desire VS Motivation Step 1 - Do something.

Make a choice and run with it." I don't want to, I don't want to, screams through my head.  To bad so sad. I must step away form the computer and DO something I lack the motivation to do. Maybe motivation will follow.  I'll let you know how that works out for me. 

The Draft I forgot about and lost...

Almost a year since I sat down at this blog.  I guess constancy with blogging really isn't my strong suit. I have lots of thought on a regular basis and really letting them out of my head, well is almost scary. Do you really want to read that anyway?

So I guess I should start with a bit of an update, you know a lot can change in a year.  A lot can stay the same too!

Keegan~ It is somewhat amazing to me how much he has grown over the year. One thing that I have always found strange is how you notice, or don't notice the changes in the people around you until they are somewhat drastic. Surely he can not be nine, wasn't it just yesterday that he was showing me the "beautiful" worm that he had shoved down into the pocket of his jeans, or telling me, "my heart is breaking because I smashed it with a hammer."

Going back to where I left off, he is doing fine with his reading.  In 3rd grade the focus of his reading skills is no longer fluency but comprehension and he has that down. He is so smart and I blame that on his dad.  Things with him are almost always easy and I hope that it stays that way.  It seems to me that we are quickly approaching dreaded teenage years and I am somewhat baffled by this moody thing that has replaced my sweet innocent cuddle bug.  I didn't expect moody boys.  I have been afraid of having moody teenage girls since Lilli was 2, I just don't know what I was thinking.  Anyway I am sure that he is glad I shared that with you all.

Aiden~ He to is doing great.  He now has a diagnosis of ADHD. Which came first, the chicken of the egg? Would he have had ADHD had he not nearly drown?  I don't know and really it doesn't matter.  In short it just means that Aiden can still be pretty impulsive.  He is doing great in school, as long as he is allowed to sit by himself (he prefers it) and contribute to the conversation when it is appropriate to do so.  We have loved his teacher this year and will be sad to see her retire and the end of next week.

Lilli~ Lilli started Pre-k this past fall!  She has had some struggles but for the most part is also doing very well.  She has been able to catch up to her peers academically but still struggles to keep up physically.  There is still concern that she will have a more difficult time when more is required of her but for now we will live in the moment and enjoy it.  

E.~ She started PPCD in November.  For those of you wondering what the heck is that?  PPCD stands for Preschool Programs for Children with Disabilities.   


Well and that was as far as I got.

March 22, 2011...that was a long time ago.

April 4, 2013, that is today's date. It has been over 2 years since I sat down at blogger. Idealistically I would like to blog regularly, but that requires that I sit down an do it. It isn't for a lack of time, it is for a lack of motivation.  

Keeping a blog really is at the bottom of my list of things that I lack the motivation to do regularly. That leaves me wondering about the difference between desire and motivation. There are lots of things that I would like to do that I desire to do. Several things that I enjoy, blogging being one of them, I just lack the motivation to do. Let's be realistic some things I don't want to do and I have no desire to do them whatsoever, I just need to do them. It isn't that I don't know where to begin or what to do. I can implement a schedule that would allow for it all, I just don't. Which leaves me left with the nagging question WHY?

I have a good I idea as to where my motivation has gone. I am quite certain, that if we could rewind that last 2 years and press play, you would have no doubt where my motivation has gone. So then, the question becomes, once your motivation is gone, how do you get it back?

"So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up or quit." Galatians 6:9

Well I didn't give up and I haven't quit, but I haven't payed much attention to how or what I have been planting. Time to get it together.