Perspective isn't truth or fact...

Over the past few days I have come across a few Facebook posts that got under my skin a bit and I am taking a moment to blog about one of them, mainly in hopes that they just stop rolling around in my head.

"When someone no longer has need of you, it is then that you will see their true colors."

Now I have seen this quote or one similar to it half a dozen times. It hasn't ever really bothered me before. For the most part I see the truth in it. Yes, there are people who will be friendly as long as they are taking something from you. Once they have drained from you what they can, they are gone. We have all come across that issue and we hope to avoid it in the future.

This last time I read it though it really bothered me. What if, you were still needed? What if by your own actions you pushed them away? Could someone's true colors just be them standing up for themselves?

... and then I had a conversation with my husband. I so appreciate our differences in perspective. Even more so I appreciate that we can have a conversation about those perspectives. I love that he will help guide me through what was really bothering me about the statement.

That isn't want the quote is even about though, my husband pointed out. I argued, from the perspective of the poster, maybe they weren't in the wrong. To which my husband lovingly pointed out, perspective isn't truth or fact. 

 He is right. You can and should set boundaries and when you do and people don't respect them, you get to choose how to live in that moment. Do you walk away? Do you offer more opportunity? The perspective on the person who violates the boundaries maters not.

So then what about forgiveness? How many times do I forgive someone who continually crosses clear set boundaries? The answer, as often as I allow them to cross the boundaries. That does not mean that I leave myself in the position to allow them to cross the boundaries. If you were building a house and someone came along in a bulldozer and started tearing it down, you would stop them.

Setting boundaries is healthy and good. That doesn't mean everyone is going to like your boundaries and it doesn't mean that everyone is going to respect your boundaries. The opinions of others do not mean that you are wrong or a bad guy for having boundaries. Let them say what they will.