Once again...

 ...It has been a long time since a post. Today started like much of any other day. Well, with the exception that the kids are all home because it is winter break. I was tired. I didn't want to get out of bed. A list of things growing in my head of what needed to be accomplished. See how well I got that list done? Yep, me either. Today has been a day of chasing squirls. Accounting is calling, but here I sit typing a blog, that may get read a time or two. 

The current mood... 

Is it the 5 hour energy that I drank at 11am or the Monster that I am drinking currently? All I can say is that today isn't the first time I have done either of those things and still wanted to be one with my pillow and blankets. Yes, I also will know why I struggle to sleep tonight. 

Here is what I think is different though. Once I decided sleep was no longer a option, I opened my messages to find the following quote; "I never lose, I either win or learn," an the following question. "Looking back over the last year, what are the wins you are proud of and of equal importance the lessons learned?"

As I read that question, it was easy to jump to a quick superficial win (the loss of 43lbs in the last 4 months).  In the course of a lifetime, or eternity though, that is an incredibly superficial win. It maters to me, and pretty much only me. 

What really matters, in the last year, what have I learned, what have I shared, how have I grown, what is the impact I had on those around me? It isn't any one big moment. Not a big epiphany. It is a million tiny moments. Letting someone know that they matter. Watching one of the kids hit a milestone I wondered if they would reach. It is learning to live more in the moment and stress less about things I don't really control anyway. It is choosing peace. It is accepting limitations. It is saying the words "I appreciate you." It is adjusting my focus and letting go. It is giving a hug and being an encouragement.

I say it a lot, at the end of the day are you proud of who you are? If not, what will you do differently tomorrow? 

At the end of the day will I have completed everything on my To Do List? Probably not. I hope that I can say that I did the things that mattered the most. I can say this, at the end of the day I will be grateful for an amazing life and the people who are in it.